The Book of Eli

Rated 3.0

The story is that, in a post-apocalyptic-war world, a desert despot wants some wandering dude’s Bible. Dude’s name is Eli, and he doesn’t want to hand it over. Granted, after the war everyone left who wasn’t blinded by the sun gathered up all the Bibles and burned them, so Eli’s Bible is the only one left. Seems pretty selfish to keep the only copy of The Word to oneself and not spread it, but that’s just the kind of guy Eli is. He’s also the kind of guy that can filet a room full of hard cases with only his bad-assed self and one nasty-looking sword. Eli’s played by Denzel Washington, so you know he’s a nice guy at heart. And the pocket Mussolini is played by Gary Oldman, and being Oldman, his plans aren’t nice. But mostly Eli walks. Walks, walks and walks. Sometimes people get in his way and asses get kicked. And then there’s a big reveal (which takes a lot of Faith to swallow) and the story is over. Well, sorta. After that the movie keeps wandering along. It’s a nice-looking picture, though—in an aggressively ugly sort of way. Feather River Cinemas, Paradise Cinema 7 and Tinseltown. Rated R