My parents and I never talked about sex, except when my mother would try to shame me for wanting some pussy. That was a waste of breath, but “If you love her, you won’t get her pregnant” kept me from being a babydaddy, and I appreciate coming late to fatherhood, exhausting though it is at my age.
In my childhood basement behind cans of nails or paint or something, I finally found Sane Sex Life and Sane Sex Living, a little blue book that was apparently the family reference. I say apparently because I never asked and they never told. The book was clinical and would have been deadly dull if it hadn’t been about vaginas, and it was eminently useful as a source of basic information, which I recently realized I hadn’t given my own sons, just the way my father didn’t give it to me. Damn.
With adolescent sons, I’m attuned to matters of teen sexual activity and pregnancy, and I find myself unable to discourage anybody from sexual activity, even, or especially, my sons. I’ve equipped them with condoms and my blessing, and maybe that’s not enough.
Teenage pregnancy; children having children. Of course, any girl who can have a baby is no longer a child, but never mind about that. I don’t assume that Nature is out of whack just because people are ready to reproduce before the local authorities want them to.
And any dogma that ignores the way girls advertise their sexual availability is bound to fail, like other morality laws. Still, many people advocate working before humping, and after much deliberation and high-speed Internet research I think I’ve got a solution for them.
Encourage abstinence? Did you abstain? Not being able to get laid is not the same as abstinence. You can’t fight Nature and win, even if you’re the Army Corps of Engineers looking for something to do.
And we don’t need more cops or teachers or surveillance technology. Everybody can participate, and the decrease in tension should make adolescence a more pleasant experience for all concerned.
We’ve got to go with the flow and let Nature have her way. We should encourage and reward model behavior that’s as safe as chastity and a lot more interesting.
To decrease teen pregnancy, I think we should promote masturbation. Solo sex is the answer for the millennium. Pick a question.
Richard Pryor said that when he was young he knew pussy couldn’t be as good as his hand. He was very young, though. My own personal hands have been my friends through good times and bad, in sickness and in health. And I recommend that any young people have faith in their own God-given gifts and abilities and, especially, dexterity. Opposable thumbs are truly wonderful. So if you’re concerned about becoming a babydaddy or babymamma, remember, hands can provide hours of entertainment, like a private date, except you don’t have to talk and no icky diseases. Girls and boys, take note.
Then there are the joys of sodomy.