Technobabble

Your Taser is So Cute So you thought CES, the Consumers Electronics Show, was all about TVs and cell phones? Not so. The 1.8 million square-foot geek-a-thon that housed 2,700 exhibitors in Las Vegas from Jan. 8-11 not only showcased new tech gear such as the LG dual-format Blu-ray/HD DVD player but also electronic weaponry in the form of a stylish stun gun by Taser.

The Taser C2 Personal Protector comes in black pearl, titanium silver, metallic pink and my favorite, electric blue. Electric it is, the $299 pocket-sized stun gun projects up to 15 feet, at a speed of 160 feet per second, propelling two probes by compressed nitrogen. The electrical signal transmitted through the insulated wires to the probes results in the immediate loss of the target’s neuromuscular control (don’t worry, they have been tested on adult pigs).

The next person who picks a drunken fight with me downtown after the bars close is going to be stunned. Comes with a training DVD.

World Domination I remember when net nerds first started joking about Google taking over the world. Unlike bullying governments who attempt to use their military for world domination, Google is looking to take over the world by being nice to people. And it seems to be working. Fortune magazine just named Google the best company to work for in the United States.

With 11 free gourmet cafeterias at its Mountain View headquarters (serving tapas and sushi), it also has Wi-Fi-enabled coaches transporting employees to a workplace that includes onsite haircuts, massages, gyms, child care, language classes, five doctors, motorized scooters for inter-campus travel and free washer and dryer machines. But if you are thinking of becoming a Noogler, or New Googler, be sure to do something that will make your resumé stand out from the other 1,300 they receive every day.

City-wide Wi-Fi And in other Google news: Free Wi-Fi … not for Chico, for San Francisco. Earthlink builds the network and Google provides the free access. Granted, there is free Wi-Fi provided at the Chico Municipal Airport and the new City Plaza, but maybe the Chico Chamber of Commerce could be a catalyst to get us connected throughout the city; wink, wink, nudge, nudge?

You Have an iCall The new Apple iPhone was announced last week at MacWorld. If you haven’t already heard all about it, you probably don’t care. “The iPod changed everything in 2001. We’re going to do it again with the iPhone in 2007,” said co-founder and CEO, Steve Jobs. After the announcement, stock in Apple Inc. (no longer Apple Computer Inc.), shot up more than 7 percent to an all-time high, while shares of Palm Inc. and Research in Motion, two smart-phone competitors, dropped more than 5 percent, according to the New York Times. If you want to see something truly surprising, check this pescetarian’s entry out on Wikipedia: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/steve_jobs.