Out & About

Information, please

The on-campus Information Center, operated by the Associated Students with some support from Chico State University, has seen its share of weird questions. They’re so common, in fact, that workers there have kept, since 1999, a semi-secret log of these questions titled “The Dumb Question Book.” Not all of the entries are dumb, per se, but they do lead one to query: “You is in college?” Here are some gems.

• “Hi, is California State University, Chico, the same as Chico State University?”

• “Do you know why they would ever schedule graduation the same weekend as the boat races in Red Bluff? Can I talk to whoever is in charge of deciding those dates?”

• “Is this Cal Skate? … Damn 411 operators.”

• “Ya know, I was wondering if you know who sings this song: ‘Laa la la laa….”

• “What is the policy on asking out a professor?”

• “I got a message on my answering machine and can’t understand it. Can you figure it out for me?”

• “Do you slaughter pigs?”

• “Hi, can you transfer me to the parking sticker, please?”

• “What time does campus security close at?”

• “Can you transfer me to the sperm bank?”

• “Can you transfer me to the number where I can donate my body to science?”

• “What’s today’s date? And tomorrow’s? What about Monday?”

• "Hi, I was wondering if you know how to get rid of hickies."