Checking out the field

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’ve explored the booming business of online personal ads to bring you a slice of the Chico dating market. There are at least a couple of dozen men and women in each age group seeking partners, and I’ve gathered excerpts from some of the men’s bios on and I didn’t clean up their spelling and punctuation. I won’t mention the guy who posed with a snake, and I’ll leave the “successful, wealthy physician” alone. If any of these people are you, I’m not poking fun. Except for the boob man. Enjoy.

“Funny” nursing student who just moved to Chico: “I am the proverbial ‘Nice Guy’ a gentelman to the end. I am known for my witful reparte and crazy spontenaity…dont worry I dont always talk like this I am using a thesaurus to find big impressive words.”

50-something educator who likes sunsets: “'Something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other.’ This song by Paul and John explains very close to what i’m looking for in a woman.”

A 28-year-old jokester in a tux: “The main thing I’m looking for in a girl can be summed up in three words…..very large breasts! Okay, I’m only kidding.”

Older guy leading “a quiet life": “Thoughtfulness counts. Honesty counts even more. The things that are unsaid, but understood, count most of all.”

A divorced cat-lover with a master’s degree: “[I want] a woman who is happy with her life, laughs a lot, and can’t understand why more people aren’t happy just to be alive.”

Capitalization-challenged 55-year-old: “[I want] a happy go lucky girl that dosent have pms or at least knows how to control it. … just kidding … pms will break up a relationship really fast!!! so do lies and deception!!! Im not bitter … just a little careful.”

A marketing guy whose photo shows a girl’s arm: “I have been told that I am a catch, I am just waiting for the right hook.”

Athletic Oregon native: “the perfect DATE would be spending the day riding motorcycles (off road) Sushi and Saki for dinner, some good conversation and yada yada…”

Dirty dancer looking for his “queen": “i have never!! cheated I know its hard to believe but im old fashion school.”

Guy posing with Spider-man: "[I’m looking for] a girl not pigly and easy going. nice speaking.”

“Good listener” who’s a country boy: “I like to romance women but I don’t bow down to them either. … [I want] someone who is not sexually attracted to the bad boy, thug, pimp or wanna be player types. It’s a big plus if you smile a lot and like to show your pretty teeth.”

“Soul of a poet” with his shirt unbuttoned: "They had a whirlwind romance. Two hungry souls hurting, both seeking release…"