It was then I noticed that the cover story on the Sac News & Review was written by our own Tom Gascoyne. But our cover was more creative, and so I pondered, is Sac trying to co-opt our scene? This thought seemed a bit paranoid, and so my agitation began to subside till I saw what could only be a hallucination. There, across the street was, Lulu’s Fashion Lounge, but as I approached I realized that on the sign outside the two “U"s had been replaced with an “I” and a “Y,” making Lulu’s into Lily’s! What was going on?
As I started sweeping my head left to right, I began to realize that everything was a poor imitation of Chico. I began to see signs like “Diffy’s Tavern,” “Brooklyn Buckles,” Bobby’s on Broadway,” and other strangely similar signs to our hometown. No wonder musicians don’t try to get gigs in Sactown: It gets confusing when there are Sac bands called “Decisive Adults,” “Evenman,” “The Gimps,” and “Bark N’ Meander.” I think it’s about time Chico throws down the gauntlet and lets Sacramento know that it is not cool that they keep ripping our scene off.
The final insult came when I turned to the back of the Sac News & Review and saw that where my column usually is there was 400 words by someone called RNA under the heading "Genetic Splice." Here’s a sample: "Recently saw Danny South downtown near the old Hey Jose’s. As usual he was livid with his proclamations that jazz was the only true music. He then whipped out one of his ivory etchings, and when I looked closer I saw that it was homage to Coltrane. Sac should be glad we have colorful characters like Danny to keep the downtown lively!"