Days of Lore

Just do it® I did it. Well, I didn’t actually do it. I sort of did it. Does it even count if I wasn’t drunk when I did it? It didn’t feel like I was really doing it. Because I’ve done it before. So I probably wasn’t actually doing it. Nope, I didn’t do it.

Everybody loves green day I went out on St. Patrick’s Day. Sober. The experience was mildly amusing and even more frightening. By noon, I had seen it all. Gaggles of green-clad coeds stumbling arm in arm to their next destination. Muscled-out frat boys walking the streets with their shirts off. A situation between a St. Patty’s Day party-goer and a war protester: “Go ruin someone else’s day,” the former slurred. A young woman making three attempts to put her feet behind her head, only to end up flopping around the sidewalk like a rolly-polly under a magnifying glass.

And to top the long day off, a co-worker told me that she rode her bike home that night and saw a woman speaking directly to some guy’s crotch. The guy looked at her with a slight smile as she rode by as if to say, “Yeah, this chick’s hella talking to my crotch.”

Ahhh … to quote the great Ric Ocasek: “Let the good times roll.”

Wanted: More Air Supply OK, I’m not going to lie. When there’s no one around, and I have some tunes playing on the hi-fi, I play a little air guitar … and air drums … and the occasional air microphone. Damn. Now you really know how lame I am—but we have that kind of open relationship—so I feel comfortable telling you that.

And I know there are more of us air guitarists out there who need an outlet for their art, but don’t have the money to fly over to Finland for this year’s Air Guitar World Championships in September. Fortunately 106.7 Z-Rock, the only station where you can still hear “Enter Sandman” six times a day, is holding its own air guitar contest in front of The Underground (the only place you can still purchase an “Enter Sandman” poster).

Here’s the deal: Ten contestants will be chosen from the sign-up box at the front counter of The Underground Thurs., March 22 (yes, that’s today, so you better get down there). Those 10 people must then be ready to rock to one of three songs by the band Hinder—sort of a modern-day Winger—in front of the panel of judges.

Contestants will be judged based on the categories used in the World Championships: stage presence, believability and “airness,” or overall presentation of the performance. All the contestants get a Hinder CD, and the winner will receive a guitar autographed by the members of Hinder. Should be a good time. ¿No?

The contest commences Sat., March 24, at 5 p.m.

A swift kick in the snowballs Last June I wrote about former CN&R film critic and Paradise resident Christopher Allan Smith’s video project called Snowmen Hunters, a funny, but hare-brained series about a couple of backwoods boobs named Sherman Rance and Everett Van der Sloot who have it out for ol’ Frosty and his kind. The show made it to the top 20 in FX Network’s It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia “Show Us Your Pilot” contest, beating out some 3,000 entries.

Apparently the video series is gaining in popularity, and YouTube just announced that it has been nominated for its 2006 YouTube Awards, going up against other favorites like Ask a Ninja and Chad Vader. Snowmen Hunters, which Smith created with his cousin and co-star Ryan Neisz, has been filmed in locations from Chico and Paradise to Burbank and Antioch, Calif. It has also been recognized by TheDailyReel.com and Veoh.com, two sites that cover the increasing popularity of Internet videos. Check out some episodes at: www.zanzibar19.com/snowmen-hunters.