They call him Pine Mouth

Pine Mouth—an artist’s interpretation.

Pine Mouth—an artist’s interpretation.

It tastes like burning.
—Ralph Wiggum

Pine Mouth Maybe it doesn’t taste like burning, but it does taste like penny-infused rancid olive oil. Every single thing I consume does. The breakfast bar, the chicken and broccoli over rice, Triscuits, coffee, water, chewing gum—all of it tastes exactly the same, very bitter and disturbingly metallic. On the second day of this good fun I decided not to take any chances with my health, and sought out informed medical advice by typing the words “bitter taste in mouth after eating” into the Internet—Dr. Google says: Pine Mouth. Dead serious … Pine Mouth (or as Mrs. DEVO has come to refer to it: Pinecone Mouth), a condition brought about from ingesting rancid pine nuts imported from China. I don’t know about the China part (mine were bought from the bin at WinCo, and toasted at home), but the rancid part sounds very plausible.

Look it up, it’s everywhere—even Food & Wine Editor Kristin Donnelly fell victim (“No matter what I tasted, there was a medicinal flavor at the back of my throat.”). Only for me it’s not at the back of my throat. On day three I ate an orange that filled my mouth with the bursting juices of what I imagine the inside of a human liver would taste like … and it’s lingering.

A friend told me I need a new mouth, and if this lasts as long as it has for random Internet strangers—two to three weeks!—I will soon scoop out my taste buds with a melon-baller and hope that new ones grows in their place.

Best of all? I go on vacation this week, and to a wedding, and Mrs. DEVO and I will celebrate our 17th anniversary, and anticipating all the attendant good-time consumption is making me, well, bitter.

Chico Craigslist > Community > Musicians > Tools Needed

[Note: Except for “TALENTED,” all all-caps emphasis is Arts DEVO’s.]

“Serious Band Members Who Are Ready to Be Famous by the End of Summer: Attention TALENTED bass players, lead guitarists, & drummers. … Looking for band members who are in the Chico area and ready to start practice immediately! I’m a lead singer and was recently on a TELEVISED SINGING COMPETITION where I placed third. I’ve been singing with a hired band and am now ready for a band of my own, I HAVE A SONG WITH THE POTENTIAL TO MAKE BILLBOARD CHARTS … I’m just lacking the talented musicians. Looking for a modern rock sound with INFLUENCES OF NICKELBACK, MATCHBOX 20, JACK JOHNSON and many others. Must be serious, talented, and ready for success! Also band members MUST BE WILLING TO BE DIRECTED every now and then. I have a sound in my mind and will ask you to play it out to FIT THE STYLE THAT THEY ARE LOOKING FOR. After a couple of months of practice 3-4 times a week, we will be recording a demo to send to the record company. If you are good, WE WILL BE ON OUR WAY TO STARDOM IN NO TIME. Please call or e-mail ASAP.”

Chico Craigslist > Community > Musicians > Best Posting Ever!

“Buy Trent a guitar (CHICO): Trent works for a nonprofit organization. All Trent wants is a Gibson Les Paul. He plays for a local band, and all of his money goes to his wonderful son. He never has any money for himself. Please make a donation today for Trent’s guitar.”

Chico > Community > Cute Band Alert

I just want to take this band, stick it in my man purse and close my eyes as I slightly rock back and forth and dance in one spot. Obviously, I am very stoked about the appropriately named The Great Good, featuring former Joybook drummer Robert Smith (playing bass here), Michael “Fera” Strishak on guitar/vocals, and painter/former Comfy Chairs drummer/Arts DEVO look-a-like Dan Wooldridge. And, as luck would have it, they are playing Café Flo twice in one week (June 15 & June 18) with fellow fresh-faced locals Master Lady (a new Around Town Collective joint).