X-Men: Apocalypse

Rated 3.0

The Netflix-ification of the blockbuster cinema-scape continues apace with Bryan Singer’s tolerable but disposable installment X-Men: Apocalypse. After the inane timeline-hopping of his 2014 feature-length episode Days of Future Past, Singer settles on the dorkiest timeline with Apocalypse, resurrecting a purple dildo-shaped god (Oscar Isaac, overqualified) and satisfying his own career-long Nazi fetish in the bargain. But the only thing that really matters is that the Marvel machine keeps chugging, and so Apocalypse peddles 144 minutes of pure, uncut franchise maintenance, dutifully serving as an anonymous chapter in a never-ending story. In addition to resolving the Apocalypse storyline and following any number of nostalgia-born narrative detours, Singer is also tasked with introducing a new cast of Muppet Babies character reboots. The film’s Godzilla-like ability to assemble and completely waste a legendary ensemble cast would be impressive if it weren’t emblematic of a Hollywood apocalypse, one of its own design. D.B.