This column needs a gimmick

The last thing that happened before writing this column: I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop.

I was riding this new Gitane 10-speed street bike, which I picked up at Midtown’s Bicycle Kitchen (1915 I Street) for 70 bucks, on the wrong side of K Street heading east, against traffic. I ran the red light on 19th Street in a pedestrian zone and the cop flagged me down.

He was a nice dude. “I’m late for work,” I fibbed. He checked my license. Lectured me about what I did wrong—or everything. In fact, the cop was baffled because I had made so many infractions and he didn’t know how to write me up. He inquired where I work. I said I write for this paper. He let me go.

Before that, I was at Old Soul Co. drinking black coffee and chatting up one of the baristas, Ally, a painter who has three shows this month: one at La Raza Gallería Posada (1022 22nd Street), one at UnitedState (1014 24th Street) and a permanent fixture at Bicycle Kitchen, too. Her paintings explore concepts of identity and injustice and are rather compelling. And popular: Her last show, at Old Soul at the Weatherstone, almost sold out.

Before that I was in bed, and the last thing I did in bed last night was watch crap mainstream TV on, which is a great thing, because you can totally get your middle-of-the-road low-brow comedy fix on the site without having to fork over $40 to Comcast each month. Case in point: the Saturday Night Live skit “Party Guys,” which is under two minutes in length but nevertheless satiates any desire to actually tune in to SNL. And it’s pretty funny. Think “turd burglars.”

I never would have been able to watch horrible Internet television, however, if I hadn’t wasted three hours trying to get a CD out of my MacBook that wouldn’t eject. I restarted. I clicked the mouse while restarting. I sensually rolled the mouse and talked sweet to the MacBook while restarting.

I held it upside down. I swung it through the air and pressed eject probably 500 times. I even left it alone in the corner for an hour. Bad MacBook.

But none of that worked. Screw the Mac Forums and AppleCare, people: All you need is a steak knife and sturdy wrists. Disc pops out. E-mail with questions.

Second Saturday had some life to it. Bands were back in full just like last summer: everywhere, in hair salons, on bikes, in Buff Castle (1115 21st Street). I saw a band that sounded like Maroon 5 with special guests Jermaine Dupree and Montell Jordan. I’m not going to name names, but you know who you are.

Speaking of local bands, by the time you read this, I’ll have already started blogging from the South by Southwest music festival. Yes, this entire article was just the scenic route to have you read my SXSW blog dispatches at Night&Day, SN&R’s events blog at

Wear a helmet.