The answer, man

What are “dabs”? How do you use them?

—Curious Charley

It’s pretty simple. A dab is a blob of “errl,” as in “Ermahgarrd! Errl dabs!” I hope that clears it up.

But seriously, a dab is a blob of hash oil. This is how it’s done: Use a torch to heat up your “nail,” which is a metal (usually titanium) attachment to your bong. Using a tool called a dabber (it looks kinda like a dentist’s pick), scoop up a dab of hash oil, place it on the heated nail and inhale the vapors through your bong. Then, sit back and enjoy.

The thing about dabs is they scare the straights. When most people think about weed, they think joints and pipes and blunts, not torches from hardware stores and open flames and tools and a table full of incredibly stoned potheads. It looks more like an opium den than a safety meeting. I would suggest keeping all that gear at home and investing in a good vapor pen or just putting a glob of hash on top of your pot when you smoke a bowl. I have heard some people call putting hash on top of the weed “smoking a wet bowl,” but whenever I hear someone say “smoking wet” I think PCP, because that’s what it used to mean back in the day. So, instead of saying “smoking wet,” I suggest we call placing hash on top of weed “putting a bird on it.” Whatever you call it, good hash is delicious.

A quick note about hashish: While some people do find better medical relief from the increased THC found in hash, moderation in all things is the key. Marijuana is not addictive, but you can definitely build up a tolerance, and hashish is expensive. I prefer hash as a treat and not as an everyday thing, but that’s just me.

Is it spring yet? Can I put my clones out in the sun? What should I be doing in my garden?

—Red-eyed Robin

It’s too early to put your plants outside. The days are still too short. They will start to flower immediately, but after the equinox, they will go back into a vegetative state. The best time to put in your garden is late April or early May. I have heard some people say that you should plant under the light of the full moon. If you think something like that would help, a local almanac could help you determine the optimal time.

In the meantime, get your area together. Make sure your paperwork is in order. Till your dirt, throw in some nutrients and compost and stuff. (My boy Subcool is one of the best growers on the West Coast. You can find his “super soil recipe” at Make sure your water supply is set up. If you are starting from seeds, get them going in mid-March. If you are nice to your plants in May, they will thank you in October.