Spin your wheels

Number one on the list of perfectly good reasons to drive to Orangevale this weekend, as long as you’re not already in Orangevale, is the return of the Melvins to The Boardwalk on Saturday, August 28. This goes especially for anyone who fancies the kind of eardrum-puncturing sonic sludge made famous by Black Sabbath, or anyone who thinks Nirvana invented what later came to be known as grunge.

Now, the Melvins aren’t nearly as long in the tooth as Sabbath, having only been around for 20 years or so. And the band possesses a frontman named Buzz Osborne, better known as King Buzzo, who hails from the same bleak logging town, Aberdeen, Wash., as Kurt Cobain did. Not that any of this means anything; one person’s star rises and falls like a rocket, while another spends two decades grinding out the rock ’n’ roll equivalent of an ancient Dodge Power Wagon gunning it through a mud-filled junkyard and slamming into random cars, the kind of brain-shattering din best appreciated by connoisseurs.

Since the late 1980s, the Melvins have operated out of San Francisco, and for a time, the trio featured Lori Black, daughter of former child star and Republican politician Shirley Temple Black, on bass. Not that that means anything, either. But in case you’re in the neighborhood of 9426 Greenback Lane around 9 p.m. on Saturday, and you have a spare $15 burning a hole in your pocket, and you don’t mind sitting through sets by Convulsant and Trevor Dunn’s Trio—the latter featuring the original bassist for Mr. Bungle—you could do a lot worse.

If that dance card’s too retro for you, on the same night, at the Colonial Theatre (3522 Stockton Boulevard in Sacramento), you can pony up $18.50 for a four-band bill featuring Killswitch Engage, From Autumn to Ashes, Eighteen Visions and 36 Crazyfists. Although Melvins fans may not give that lineup a thumbs up, anyone into the latest wrinkle of what passes as metal—think bands named after various days of the week—should get somewhat of a rise from this. The show starts at 7 p.m.

And if neither of these options floats your boat, there’s at least one very bad folk singer playing a local club on Saturday, along with plenty of other action: Black Saddle Hookers—featuring a rhythm guitarist named Skid Jones—with the Lashes and Daycare are at Old Ironsides at 9 p.m. for $8, and there’s more than enough to keep you off the couch, even though two episodes of Cops, followed by America’s Most Wanted, can be a mighty tempting reason to stay home.

Oh, and last weekend, Las Pesadillas tore up Old Ironsides pretty good, aided by some pretty fine guests, including former Magnolia Thunderfinger guitarist G.B. Quick, somebody get this band on one of those outdoor hippie fests, where the band can sizzle the synapses of all those folks still waiting for Jerry to return on a cloud of doob smoke, who are bumming hard right now that Phish isn’t coming back. Salvation is at hand.