Sacramento’s Hollywood-style Walk of Stars is tacky, embarrassing

The Hollywood Walk of Fame is coming to Sacramento. I'm not joking.

This week, city council was poised to greenlight a resolution to allow bronze stars commemorating influential Sacramentans on sidewalks throughout Midtown and downtown.

Before all you anti-streetcar types choke on your Metamucil: The stars will be 100 percent privately funded.

The idea is the brainchild of Lucy and Scot Crocker, of local PR outfit Crocker & Crocker. Their vision is to commemorate five locals each year who've made a positive impact on Sacto (sorry, Dorothea Puente). The stars will cost eight grand a pop and will be strategically placed between Fifth and 21st streets.

No one seems to have the nerve to offer the Crockers some real talk on this project, so allow me to chime in: This is tacky as ish.

Look, I've got passion for the 916. But, c'mon, a Hollywood Walk of Fame in Midtown? That’s more than just a bit embarrassing.

Possible star candidates being discussed include Mark “Old Michael Phelps” Spitz, Tom “Sorry, Colin” Hanks and Pat “Karate Kid” Morita. There will also probably be a star for “Trying Too Hard.”

Anyway, since this is going to happen some day, I'd at least urge some real central-city street heroes. I'm thinking a Downtown James Brown star in front of Golden Bear. Or Mac Worthy in front of City Hall. And maybe Ground Chuck in front of Rubicon.

At least those ideas are true grid—not desperate.