After her 16-year marriage ended, Toria Wyrick found herself single but not ready to mingle. Soon after, she discovered that many of her single friends also carried emotional baggage from their past relationships that was hindering them from launching new romances. This began her two-year journey of writing her first published book, Want a Man? Let’s Talk. As Wyrick wrote, she healed, and believes that all women should use her book as a tool to start redefining their expectations in men. Wyrick’s book, self-published through AuthorHouse, has sold more than 120 copies in the first five weeks of release. Wyrick is excited to share the secrets of becoming ready for a healthy relationship.
Why is it important to have a healthy relationship with a spouse?I think everyone needs healthy relationships—whether it is your spouse, girlfriend, mother, father or children. It is overall better karma for you, and you would be spiritually happier. It improves everyone’s quality of life.
If you’d had a book like this when you were single, what would have changed for you?I think it would have taken out a lot of trial and error, because originally when you go to do something, you’re like, “OK, if I would have known there was a better approach, I would have taken it—or at least had better insights so I would avoid some of the pitfalls.”
There are a lot of how-to books on relationships available for women. What voice do you offer that makes you stand out from the rest of the self-improvement books?It’s more of a practical approach and common sense. I don’t have a Ph.D., so it’s more of a real-woman conversation to another real woman. Let’s Talk is really just about women talking one on one: Let’s discuss our issues and what we can do to improve ourselves. I think it is very different than other books. It has questions for them to do and assignments to explore their past.
How does this book demonstrate what a healthy relationship should look like for your reader?It is actually a working guide to have better relationships. So there is a series of questions they have to answer and they have to respond, and honestly reflect upon those answers in order to get the best results. Once they do that, then they have to ask themselves the next question. You know: “How am I going to go about changing this cycle in order to improve the quality of my life?”
How does having a “soul mate” improve the quality of one’s life?Well, everyone is different. There is a majority of people who do not need a soul mate, but there are a majority of men and women who are looking to connect with that one special person to spend their life with.
Originally, this book was written for women. Has the audience changed?Well, I have some men who have actually read the book and I am getting a lot of feedback from them. They said, basically, if you just take the gender out, it applies to them, as well. They said they got a lot out of it and have actually reflected on the questions in this book.
If you could rework this book, would you remove gender as a component?No, I would not. Only, primarily, because as a woman, I want more women to be involved in helping other women and encouraging and inspiring women. So, as a woman, I would prefer to start with women first, and then maybe later, if it is well-received, I might try to see how I can help men. My core focus right now is for more women to try helping each other and be more encouraging and supportive.
Do you think that this book discusses women and men in a singular way?No, because it is a working plan, so there are lots of questions and answers for you to develop your own style, because we all are individuals. So if you follow through the questions and get to the end of the book to the actual assignments, [they] are going to have their own plan that will work just for them.
What other ways can people send messages of empowerment to women besides through this book?I think, as a whole, all women need to be more encouraging of each other. We need to try to step back from the negativity that sometimes we give toward other women that we do not even know. We all are women and have gone through some of the same tragedies and struggles that other women have been through. I just want women as a whole to be a little nicer to each other.