Other things you can do against the machine

One must possess a certain je ne sais quoi to earn one’s living by playing in a novelty musical act. Actually, je am pretty sure I sais quoi: You either have to really believe in your gimmick or it has to be making you good money. Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine, who play Harlow’s on Wednesday, must have one of these factors going for them, because they’ve now stretched their gimmick out over the course of six records and countless tours.

The shtick, if you haven’t figured it out, is that the band lounge-ifies songs that, y’know, weren’t originally lounge songs. Cheese (yes, he goes by Dick) croons versions of 2 Live Crew’s “Me So Horny,” Limp Bizkit’s “Nookie” and Nirvana’s “Rape Me,” among others.

But if we’re lounging instead of raging now—and for that matter, if RATM’s Tom Morello has reinvented himself as a folk singer—the machine must be doing pretty well. So in order to help fire up the masses again, we’d like to suggest a few possible alternative Rage-parody band names for aspiring faux-rockers. You don’t even have to pay us royalties.

1. Write Angry Letters to the Editor Re: The Machine

2. Feebly Protest the Machine As Long As It Doesn’t Require Me to Do Research or Anything That Would Genuinely Counteract the Machine

3. Experimental Instrumental Improvisational Post-Punk Against the Machine

4. On Second Thought, You Know, The Machine Isn’t Quite as Bad as I Thought, The Price of My Kid’s Orthodontics Being What It Is

5. Who Am I Kidding? I Can’t Stay Mad at the Machine

6. Reunite to Play A Music Festival in Las Vegas That Costs $146.50 Per Person ($477.50 for VIP Tickets) Against the Machine, Because THAT Will Show the Machine We’re Totally Serious About Raging Against It

7. At Least Try To See If We Can Get The Machine To Buy Us A Few Drinks Before We Let On That We’re Planning to Rage Against It

8. Sit Around Getting High And Telling Our Friends About Our Plan to Seriously Start a Band That is Going to Rage Against the Machine So Much Harder Than Rage Against the Machine Ever Did

9. The Machine (hint: Try to start a feud with Rage Against the Machine)

10. OK, Fine, I Agree with the Machine