One-trick sea horse

This follow-up to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is, like most sequels, not up to the standards of the original. And that’s not saying much. The classic Austen novel is invaded—nay, overwhelmed—by faux-Regency language used most foully to describe a world overrun by the denizens of the deep. Yes, sea monsters; and not your friendly Sid and Marty Krofft style, either. What’s disappointing is that the premise—a strange “alteration” that caused all the waters of the Earth to sprout monstrous, human-hating creatures—might have made an entertaining horror fantasy novel, if Winters cared to try it. Instead, the three Dashwood sisters have more to be concerned with than their fortunes; in this parody, they’ve got to find men who can handle fish that get a little too rascally. Once again, the corpse of poor Jane Austen is desiccated. This book will make you howl, all right, but not with fear.