Recent pop-culture headlines you might have missed, because they are fake

Culture Club calls former frontman “rude”; “We’ll take him,” says Black Sabbath

Tom Cruise to reincarnate United Artists but not to use that word

Lousy American legal system responsible for Kate Moss as model of the year, says Russell Crowe

Dealbreaker for Witherspoon, Phillippe was tiff over Madonna adoption scandal

Limbaugh goes to source, accuses Parkinson of having disease named after him for political gain

Diddy demands James Bond role; Daniel Craig says fine but no sampling

Neil Patrick Harris comes out, Bob Barker announces retirement—no link, sources say

Budget notwithstanding, Pamela Anderson, canyon jumping and shit not enough for MTV award, judge tells irate Kanye West; ruling contested by Russell Crowe

Upon sentence of death by hanging, Saddam Hussein revealed to have been Sacha Baron Cohen all along

Pitt, Jolie threatened by Al Qaeda; Bush going to allow that one