My Little Pony: The Movie
Pony Princess Twilight Sparkle and several of her adorable pals set out to protect their land from the evil Storm King. The meandering plot is merely a framework to involve as many Hasbro toys as possible and separate little girls from their parents’ money. There are some catchy (if forgettable) songs to get toes tapping, but the animation looks like something doodled with colored pencils in an elementary school notebook. And considering that this cutesy-pie drivel couldn’t possibly interest anyone over the age of 7, letting it babble on for an hour and 39 minutes is sheer madness. Blame director Jayson Thiessen and writers Meghan McCarthy, Joe Ballarini, Rita Hsiao and Michael Vogel. Leading voices are mostly unknown, but Emily Blunt, Kristen Chenoweth, Zoe Saldana and others turn up in support. J.L.