Happy talk

SN&R readers tell their happiness stories A few weeks ago, we placed a questionnaire in SN&R asking readers how they were faring in their own individual pursuit of happiness. Here’s a sampling of the responses:

Describe a time when you felt true and overwhelming happiness.
Being able to look back on my childhood and realize the best times were playing at the park next to our apartment where I could swing as high and as fast as I could and look up at my kitchen window and see my mom waving. Summers in Sacramento with Gramma walking us to Woolworth’s on K Street Mall where we would raid the candy bins. Even more touching to me now that she’s passed. Now, as an adult, when I’m at the ocean with my family knowing everyone is healthy and happy. I feel happy.

Elsie Ng
business analyst

I was walking on air with my Yuba City High sweetheart in 1969 on the upper deck of the Ala Moana Shopping Center.

Paul Henderson
former telecommunications engineer, student

It was New Year’s Day a few years ago. I was with my best friend, Carol, and we had a perfect day. Brunch at the Cliff House in San Francisco, then down to the beach for the rest of the day. We saw a beautiful sunset, then built a bonfire and people kept stopping at our fire and talking to us all evening. Someone had a guitar, some girls did firedancing at night … we were both in the midst of our divorces and every aspect of our lives was in shambles, but we were blessed with this one carefree day of healing and serenity.

Evelyn Rojas
teacher

What’s the longest stretch of your life during which you were happy?
My husband and I separated in 2001 because I wasn’t happy. I had expected him to act in certain ways, relying upon his actions to provide my happiness. During our separation, I realized that my unhappiness was not due to any wrong action on my husband’s part, but was created by my own misguided expectation that he was responsible for my happiness.

Lisa Chapman-Sorci
meditation teacher

The last 15 years of my life I’ve chosen to be happy. I’ve learned that sadness and misery is a choice and so is happiness.

Karen D
medical biller

What’s the longest stretch of your life during which you were happy?
The last 10 years have truly been the happiest I remember. It’s taught me about self-reliance, inner strength, courage, risk and struggle.

Marie Copher
financial investigator

What’s the difference, if there is one, between being happy in the short term and achieving long-term happiness?
I’d have to say the realization that my conscious thoughts have an effect on how my life will turn out. When I wasn’t aware of this, happiness came and went as it pleased. Now I am more aware and careful about the thoughts I choose to entertain in my mind. Feelings are temporary unless you choose to hang on to them. If you think life is great, then it will be. If you think life sucks, then it will suck. It’s up to you and the energy you put out, because like energy attracts like. Life is 10 percent what happens to you, 30 percent how you react to it and 60 percent what sort of attitude you choose to hold regarding past, present and (especially) future.

Svethana N. Brown
writer, artist, entrepreneur

Short-term happiness is a lot like “walking on air.” Long-term happiness has an important element of study and introspection. One must learn to extend happiness to others.

Paul Henderson
former telecommunications engineer, student

Does the state of the world have an impact on your personal happiness? Explain why it does or doesn’t.
Of course it does. We do not live in isolation to the rest of the world, and whether or not we wish to acknowledge it, we are affected by the state of the world. Wars, homelessness, the economy, environmental issues, violence, addictions, the political climate, changes in society, natural or man-made disasters, etc., can impact us in small or large ways, but we are a part of the whole, and like ripples in a pond, the effects of a seemingly localized action spread out to impact a much larger area. As aware as I am that all is not well in this world, I feel a responsibility to do things to alleviate the inequities and suffering in this world, and if I am not making positive contributions, my personal happiness is compromised.

Evelyn Rojas
teacher

No. I’m leaving the worry and action for those we’ve elected to do those jobs.

Kyna Frost
postal worker

Does the state of the world have an impact on your personal happiness? Explain why it does or doesn’t.
I think to some degree it does. It can be difficult at times to have a wonderful meal or complain about not getting in to see my doctor sooner, or to even be grumpy about not being able to afford to go on vacation this year when millions of people are starving, have little to no basic medical attention and are trapped in areas of the world that are ravaged by violence.

Marie Copher
financial investigator

If you were standing in front of a classroom of first graders, what would you tell them about happiness? Would it be different from what you would tell a group of senior citizens?
I would tell those kids to go attack each and every day like it will be their last. Get as much out of life as they possibly can. If a group of senior citizens were standing in a classroom listening to me, I would tell them to get out there and attack every day like it will be their last. The only difference is that for the seniors it is more likely to be their last day.

Matt Rexroad
Yolo County supervisor, businessman

I often stand in front of others and speak of happiness; that is what I do. I would tell these first graders to learn to quiet their mind and let go of their thoughts until they feel calm. Once you learn to find your calm center, don’t let anyone’s words or actions take that away from you. Don’t react from your emotions. Stay calm and centered. Once you react, you have given away control of your happiness to someone else or to circumstances. No matter what chaos comes your way, the one thing you have control over is your own inner peace … your happiness. The body is temporary, but the soul, the inner you, the true self, is ageless and timeless. So this is also what I would share with the group of seniors.

Lisa Chapman-Sorci
meditation teacher

I think it would be the same. I’m a big believer in karma and I think true happiness is an intertwined concept. The more positive things you project into the world and to the people you connect with on a daily basis, the more aware you are of those positive things when they come back into your life.

Sam Cid
account manager

I don’t think there is a difference. … I was a counselor for abuse victims, children and adults, and I would tell them that happiness comes from the inner soul. If you believe in yourself, you will always maintain happiness no matter what trials life brings to you. Remember you are a child of the universe and you are supposed to be happy in life. Never give up and never forget who you are.

Vera Farris
motivational speaker, counselor

I would tell the first graders that it’ll be easier if you can take the good with the bad and learn as much as you can from the bad. Seniors, I’d like to hear what they’d have to say about happiness.

Elsie Ng
business analyst