Giving ‘Danks’

Ngaio Bealum is a Sacramento comedian, activist and marijuana expert. Email him questions at

I want to medicate a turkey this year. Any advice?

Happy Danksgiving! Cannabis-infused Thanksgiving dinners become more popular every year. My advice: have two tables—one for regular food, and another for all the cannabis-infused stuff. Also, folks tend to overeat on Thanksgiving, so there is no need to make every dish super-potent. Keep it at around one or two milligrams of THC per serving so that your cousin who always goes back for thirds won't pass out before the dessert.

Remind your guests that combining booze and weed (known as “cross-fading”) can be fun, but overdoing it can lead to the spins and the vomits. Other than that, have fun. By utilizing infused butters and oils, you can mix cannabis into just about every Thanksgiving dish on the table, from the mashed potatoes to the Brussels sprouts. (I like to roast mine with olive oil, bacon and some maple syrup.) Make sure everyone has a safe ride home, have some coffee and maybe some sort of high CBD snack on hand in case someone gets uncomfortably high, and have a great holiday.

My plants are all weird. They are turning yellow, and they have rust-colored spots. What should I do?

Good question. Calcium or magnesium deficiency maybe? I know you sent a picture, but it's hard to tell. Fortunately master grower and author Ed Rosenthal has published a book titled Marijuana Garden Saver: A Field Guide to Identifying and Correcting Cannabis Problems that should be able to help. The book contains pictures of all the plant problems you may encounter, as well as good advice on how to solve them. Cannabis is easy to grow (that's why they call it weed), but it is a challenge to grow it well. Good luck.

Which is better: Bongs or vapes?

Joints? This is so subjective. Quick refresher: There are three ways to consume cannabis: Smoking (bongs, pipes, joints and blunts); vaping, which involves using a device to vaporize either the glands of the cannabis flower or a concentrated cannabis hash oil; or edibles. I suppose suppositories are the fourth way, but most people prefer the first three. Smoking gets you high in a hurry, and is probably the most frugal. Vapes are discreet, but some folks (including me) don't feel the same high from a vape pen as from a joint or a bong. Edibles are very effective and even more discreet than vaporizers, but it takes a while to feel the effects, and it can be a challenge to find the proper dose. Too much THC leads to anxiety and paranoia. No one wants that.

But why choose only one? Have a bong at the house, smoke joints and blunts at parties and weed fests, use a vape when discretion is required and have a low-dose edible or two when hitting up an event at non-smoking venues, such as classical music concerts. Variety is the spice of life.