Fatten up, vegans

For some reason, there’s an abundance of doughnut shops in the Pacific Northwest, some of which produce delicious vegan holey cakes, including Mighty-O Donuts and Voodoo Doughnut. Vegan bakers exist in the Bay Area, too, such as the all-organic Pepples Donuts, whose goods used to be sold at Whole Foods (4315 Arden Way and 1001 Galleria Boulevard in Roseville) for a few bucks each. They’ve been replaced with Posh Bakery’s nonorganic ’nuts, and at 99 cents each, makes it cheaper to get fat faster, which is why I share this tasty tip with you, because this is not an act of selflessness: I am just hoping you eat them all before I can get to them.