Eight Gigs: R. Kelly

Sat., Oct. 3, 8 p.m., Thunder Valley Casino Resort, $55-$200

Let's play the “Trapped in the Closet” quiz, all right? OK. (1) What's the name of the man who finds R. Kelly in the closet? (2) Who is following R. Kelly on the road? (3) Where does R. Kelly shoot the man who finds him in the closet? (4) Who answers the phone when R. Kelly calls his home? (5) What does R. Kelly find in his bed? Answers: Rufus, a cop, in the butt, a man, a condom. Did you pass? Anyway, sadly, this gig appears to be sold out, but keep tryin'. Or just stay at home listening to “Ignition” on repeat. Beep! Beep! 1200 Athens Avenue in Lincoln, www.r-kelly.com.