Rated 1.0

When a blundering dog accidentally frees an evil jack-in-the-box wizard from his carousel prison, he (the dog) goes on a quest to find the three magic diamonds that will keep him (the wizard) from freezing the world with lightning bolts from his moustache; he (the dog) is joined on this quest by a talking train, a hippie rabbit, an opera-singing cow and the snail who loves her (the cow). Got all that? This hodgepodge of leaden animated whimsy is supposedly based on a British kiddie TV show, but the plot (such as it is) is baldly stolen from The Lord of the Rings, and the movie isn’t shy or clever about it. For U.S. audiences the voices have been dubbed by the likes of Whoopi Goldberg, Jon Stewart, Chevy Chase and Jimmy Fallon, who add nothing; in fact, the movie drags them down with it.