Rated 1.0 Dirk Shafer’s two-hour exercise in Hard Nipples Cinema careens down the narcissistic, drug-drenched fast lane of gay, color-themed circuit parties with pit stops at numerous lurid gatherings of Nautilus-enhanced beefcakes. John (Jonathan Wade-Drahos) is a small-town policeman harassed for his sexual preference. His boss suggests he relocate to an environment more compatible to his lifestyle, so John moves to Los Angeles, a “homophobic” town, we are soon told, where is it is best to date someone you can pass off as your son and where men shower and swim while wearing their watches. John befriends hustler Hector (Andre Khabbazi) and reunites with a female college friend (Kiersten Warren) as the script attempts to equate hedonism to hollow souls with such howler lines as “I’m never going to find true intimacy unless I try monogamy.”