Best of the Burbs 2014: Guide to Roseville, Rocklin & Granite Bay

Landmarks

Tower Theatre (417 Vernon Street in Roseville). A place to view film screenings and the home of Stand Out Talent ( www.standouttalent.org), a youth theater group.

Where to observe the natives

Outside of any plastic surgery center. What?!

Fashion and what to wear

For women: maxi dresses, skinny jeans and feminine tunics, or whatever else is the current trend. And never the same outfit twice.

For men (casual wear): V-neck T-shirts, slouchy beanies, tight shorts and tattoos. For more formal purposes: anything by Christian Audigier, or a button-up shirt with colorful tattoo-influenced art.

Roseville, Rocklin & Granite Bay for lovers

Granite Bay High School (1 Grizzly Way in Granite Bay, www.granitebayhigh.org). Sneak into the football stadium and make out under the stars. It’s what the cool kids do.

Common phrases

“What was the name of your Pilates instructor again?”

“Where can I buy quinoa?”

Spot to lose the kids

Golfland-Sunsplash (1893 Taylor Road in Roseville, www.golfland.com/roseville). Drop them off, and buy them some tokens.

How to ID a local

For her: If a woman looks like she’s just stepped out of a salon, with carefully manicured makeup and hair and wearing high-end togs, she’s a local.

For him: Same political party as John Boehner, same skin tone as John Boehner-spray-tan orange.

Where to eat and drink like a local

Whole Foods Market (1001 Galleria Boulevard in Roseville). Buy any green juice, and then drink it while running errands.

Westfield Galleria at Roseville (1151 Galleria Boulevard in Roseville, www.westfield.com/galleriaatroseville). Skip the food court and head right for Beard Papa’s Fresh’n Natural Cream Puffs.

Local culture and museums

Blue Line Arts (405 Vernon Street, Suite 100 in Roseville; www.bluelinearts.org). A great venue for fine art.

Shopping and notable strip malls

Denio's Farmers Market & Swap Meet (1551 Vineyard Road in Roseville, www.deniosmarket.com). Not only is Denio’s a great place to buy junk on the weekends, there’s a livestock auction every first and third Sunday.

Fountains at Roseville (Roseville Parkway and Galleria Boulevard in Roseville, www.fountainsatroseville.com). Overpriced shopping, but home to a good farmers market (Tuesday mornings from 8 a.m. to 1:30 p.m.) and a summer concert series featuring a bunch of those annoying cover bands.

Westfield Galleria at Roseville (1151 Galleria Boulevard in Roseville, www.westfield.com/galleriaatroseville). It’s Roseville in a nutshell. See “Best center of the consumer universe” and “Best peaceful walk for parents with screaming kids” for more information.

Creekside Town Center (Highway 65 and Galleria Boulevard in Roseville, www.creeksidetowncenter.com). A strip mall full of bargain-priced clothing stores and chain-restaurant dining.