Best Bizzaro Best Weasel Tail

The Squeeze Inn

Photo by Larry Dalton

You won’t see weasel tail on the menu of the Squeeze Inn. But it’s there. Just squeeze yourself into this aptly named, salmon-pink hamburger shack perched on the outer limits of Fruitridge Road, and you will find it.

Order a Squeezeburger (what else?). Greg Svoboda or Travis Hauser, whichever co-owner is behind the grill, will slap down two square beef patties and two strips of bacon. Once the patties and bacon are cooked, he puts them on the lower half of a toasted sesame bun topped with a half-cup gob of freshly shredded cheddar cheese. Then he slides the whole mess under a cover on the grill to steam. In four minutes you get a cheese-covered lump the size of Mike Tyson’s fist.

Then he smashes on lettuce, tomato, bacon, pickle, condiments and the top of the sesame bun. The melted cheddar oozes out the sides and forms a thick, leathery skirt around the hamburger.

It’s nearly impossible to squeeze this mammoth sandwich into your mouth, so hangs this tale. You see, at first bite, the cheese skirt inevitably tears, and hangs off the burger kind of like a … weasel tail.

Don’t weasel around! Snap that sucker up. You’ll know just what makes Squeezeburgers so weirdly wonderful.

The Squeeze Inn, 7918 Fruitridge Road, (916) 386-8599.