Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Rated 1.0

Believe me when I say it—this is one shitty cartoon. George Lucas has a planned television series for his Star Wars franchise, and I must say that my TiVo will be avoiding the damned thing like the plague. The story takes place between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, and this is apparently the time period when Star Wars got totally lame. This is worse than Jar Jar lame. The animation is herky-jerky Commodore 64 crap, the characterizations are wholly irritating (especially Obi-Wan, who is now a total pompous dick). I actually went into this all charged up to see something Star Wars, and instead I got something no better than Pokémon. The story involves some baloney with Anakin Skywalker, his new assistant, and Jabba the Hutt’s baby, which looks like a talking basketball. I had no fun with this thing, and neither will you or your kids. Star Wars has taken a brutal shot to the nads.