Rated 2.0

While this movie gets high marks for production value and Kiefer Sutherland’s awesome hoodies, it’s dumber than spit. Sutherland stars as a disgraced cop who takes a night security job at an abandoned, burned out department store. Now, there alone, we’re talking pretty stupid, right? Then the mirrors in the place (and there are a lot of them) start biting him and mocking him and all that. Does the stupid bastard leave and go get a job at Burger King? Nope, he hangs in there because he really needs the money. By film’s end, you truly feel as if you are watching one of the dumbest movie characters in all of movie history (Dumber than Cameron Diaz in Charlie’s Angels!). So, while the movie looks pretty nifty in places, you won’t be impressed because you’ll be too pissed off watching this dumbass screw up old school. It’s like Night at the Museum minus the dinosaur, Teddy Roosevelt, Ben Stiller and the mummy guy. Actually, it’s not like Night at the Museum at all. The only thing the films have in common is the job the protagonists hold down. That was a very poor analogy, and I apologize.