Like a rug

When the Mad King’s tender eggs find themselves in yet another political vise, his protective lickspittles jump into action, circling around those precious little raisinets so as to save them from being squished into a vile, mealy goo that would make the Kimberly Guilfoyle Bod-Bot recoil in titanically-titted terror. These sycophant droids guarding The Blunderer In Chief are like worker bees surrounding their threatened queen, prepared, if need be, to defend their endangered monarch to the death … of their re-election chances.

Which is to say here comes the ReTrumplican campaign of national bamboozlement, to be quickly followed by a relentless blast of general gaslighting. Never has the old axiom, “If you can’t dazzle ’em with brilliance, baffle ’em with bullshit,” been more in play.

And don’t buy into that initial slaphappy portrait of Lovable Lev and Illin’ Igor being dopey shlubs of Rudy Ghouliani. Total horseshit. These guys ain’t schmucks. Far from it. In fact, it’s now obvious that Rudy was working for them, not the other way around, and that Lev and Igor were highly connected with the Russian Mob that was paying Ghouliani the big bucks to get our decent diplomats axed in Ukraine. Then, and only then, could Team Capone make the power plays it was eager to make since, as Prez Pelosi so accurately summed up, when it comes to Trump, all roads lead to Putin. And he had some fat cat Russkies to please!

But … oh, no! Lev got his feelings hurt! Awww, isn’t that just the sweetest? Lev got his widdle heart broke when Pouty Potus said of him and Igor, “I don’t know these guys.” Dump’s tossing of the starstruck Parnas under the nearest bus doesn’t appear to have sat well with ol’ Lev, since Lev had posted about 47 pictures of him kissing Trump’s ass on Instagram, pics that invariably show Lev and Twitler mugging with ever-moronic thumbs up, Agent Orange grinning like some nitrous-baked jack-o-lantern. So Lev got his feelings hurt, and then he got pissed, and then he told his lawyer, “Fuck it. I’m ready to lunch with Adam Schiff.”

Nuts to all this bullshit about quid pro quo. Drop the effing Latin already. Let’s talk instead about bribery and extortion. Let’s talk about graft and piles and piles of utterly endless corruption. Trump is lying. Rudy is lying. Sondland is lying. Pompeo is lying. Barr is lying. Pence is lying. Moscow Mitch is lying. All of them lie. All the time. About everything. That Kool-Aid 45 must be strong stuff.