Forced to worship freedom?

Since Dum Dum’s High Falootin’ Heehaw for Hicks and Hillbillies in Huntsville, His Orangeness has tweeted zero times about Puerto Rico and twelve times about pro sports. How deeply caring. Our 51st state got absolutely devastated by Maria, and the odds are now looking more and more that the federal response to this mega-disaster is going to do for Trump what Katrina did to Dubya. I’m writing this on Monday morning, so there may be a rally in terms of aid to P.R. by the time you read this. We can only hope. You wouldn’t think it’d be that tough to figure out.

The horror of Dum Dum the Doddering Dotard (thanks for the cool new adjective, Krazy Kim!) is this—we knew he would be, by a large margin, the worst president ever, but the now horrific and obvious reality is that this asshole is actually far worse than we dared to imagine. How about that? We knew he would suck and suck hard, but we had no idea we could so grossly underestimate his degree of turbosuck.

And please, please, please, don’t lose sight of what Kap was doing. God bless him, he was cool and pure last year, and he just wanted to say that this terrible rash of cops murdering unarmed young black men was absolutely outfuckingrageous and of course he was right. The protest had nothing—repeat, nothing—to do with the military. So you jarheads, flyboys, grunts, and squids, STFU! Kap’s protest was simple—Hey, cops, stop shooting us and killing us in racist cold blood. And by the way, people died for the flag so we citizens would have the freedom to react to it any way we want. Stand, sit, kneel, trim nails, doze off, whatever. Because we’re free. Ya know? Free? Duh? Why is this concept so difficult to grasp for so many?

Last week, Bill Maher spoke for many of us who still are not OK with the malevolent mischief of Trumplodytes. “When Trump tells a crowd at his rallies ‘I love you,’ what he means is that in middle America he found something he had long ago run out of in New York: Suckers. Trump voters were played for rubes by the ultimate fast talking city slicker, who saw vulnerable people getting nervous about jobs and the melting pot getting too melty. And he told them he’d build a great wall and get their jobs back at the mine, and they said where do I sign? Folks, you didn’t Make America Great Again. You enrolled in Trump University.”