Beatles 101

OK, now hold on a sec. I’m now expected to roll with LGBT … Q? WTF? I’m not sold on this addition to the roster, not at all. In fact, I’m putting my foot down as a COB (crabby old bastard) and saying no, nyet and negative. I’m not gonna add that Q to my usage of the rainbow acronym, because to my simple, crusty mind, it’s unnecessary and redundant.

Let’s review. If you’re a boy who likes boys, you’re a G. If you’re a girl who likes girls, you’re an L. If you like both, you’re obviously in the B camp. So if you’re inclined to be a Q, which Googles up as a Queer who is unsure which sexual way he/she is flying (or Questioning), well, aren’t you then basically a confused, ambivalent and uncommitted B? Why do I have to give you your own letter? I’m all for efficiency in acronyms, and this new Q, I’m tellin’ ya, it feels baggy (and by now, most cafes in the U.S. should definitely have the LGBT sandwich on the menu, with the “G” being guac, of course. Good sandwich!

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The Olympics in Rio? Big deal. BFD. Now Moloch, the winged skull demon that’s the guiding spirit of athletic nationalism, also known as jockular fascism, wants me to give a flying flapdoodle about Romanian ribbon twirlers, Japanese gymnasts and Bosnian bicyclists. Pass. Zzzzzzzzz. Wake me up when Usain Bolt shows up.

As a COB in good standing, I couldn’t be more burned out or indifferent to the friggin’ Olympics. Every time Moloch tries to rev me up to give a shit, I immediately flash to John Lennon. “Imagine there’s no country/ It’s easy if you try/ No country to kill or die for/ Above us only sky.” I do hope all those lovely, firm, toned athletes have a delicious fuckfest in Rio, though. After all, that’s truly what the Olympics are all about, the athletes of world meeting up to Come Together.

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With my Beatle groove now firmly established, it’s time for me to plug something I do give a flaming flapdoodle about—my class at Truckee Meadows Community College. This autumn, I’m done messin’ around, folks. This semester, it’s all about the Fabs. The class is called “The Beatles—A Compleat History,” where we’ll re-live what is inarguably the Greatest Story in Rock’n’Roll, and if you don’t believe me, well, take the dang class and let me unleash the beats of The Beats on you and then see what you think.

Here’s how you sign up for this $49 shindig, which will be Wednesday nights from Sept. 14 to Nov. 2. Go to tmcc.edu. Then go to Register Now. Then go to Creative Arts, where you will see Music classes. Click on those and there you go. From Me to You, till The End.