Rated 1.0

Though I’m probably the only person on Earth who actually sorta enjoyed the Strause bros’ Alien vs. Predator: Requiem, even I can’t figure out why they were given a shot at another theatrical release. This is strictly bottom-shelf fare at Blockbuster, along with the other mockbusters from The Asylum studio. After 20 minutes of interminable character development for the most unlikable collection of hipster douchebags assembled in recent memory, the party winds down so that they can wake up to a Los Angeles being harvested by aliens. Yep, it’s Cloverfield meets Independence Day meets the Rapture as millions of Angelinos are sucked up into the bellies of city-sized spacecrafts. But mostly, it’s a feature-length FX demo reel (with boring creature design and only adequate FX) with some TV actors thrown in to make it look like a movie. More Plan 9 than District 9, this packs one horrible, horrible script. Absolutely no suspense (although that might have been because of the loathsome cast of characters), and considering that most of the movie was following the Cloverfield template, that takes some special skillz. Cinemark 14, Feather River Cinemas and Paradise Cinema 7. Rated PG-13