The Internet is full of it

Using the “history” function on the family computer, a friend of mine learned his adolescent daughter had been visiting pornographic Web sites. He confronted her. She screamed.

He didn’t know what to tell her about porn. He knew he didn’t want her looking at sexual images, but he couldn’t say why. He said he likes pictures of naked women, but some of the images on the Internet are “disgusting.” He didn’t say which ones. I might like them. So maybe he doesn’t want his daughter to be disgusted. It’s judgment again, and more or less typical of American society’s insanity around sex. As more women learn to like porn, I’m betting that will change.

I have always liked pornography. Anything that appeals to my prurient interests is fine. Likewise anything that appeals to yours. When we were little, Big Bob and I went around the neighborhood collecting Jet magazines just for the pinup in the middle. We were very young. I think we said we wanted them for a paper drive.

Speaking only for myself, as opposed to all men, which I hardly ever do any more, I’m nearly always in favor of anything and anybody who causes the blood to rush to my genitalia. If there’s going to be an imbalance, I want it in favor of my generals—they were promoted from privates in the summer of 1963. And, yes, the blood that rushes to my groin does come straight from my brain. Thus, balance is maintained.

So I sent my friend a link to a Web site that has pornographic images of fat, flabby, wrinkled old farts like him and me. I bet that would give her something else to think about.

Wikipedia says pornography is “… the depiction of explicit sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexually exciting the viewer.” Of course, a purpose is not an achievement, but naked people are a good place to start for most of us.

Images of naked people are everywhere on the Internet, though for many of us actual naked people may not be as plentiful around the house as we might like.

I recently found some old porn of mine from the ’80s, and it’s wholesome enough for children. I try to keep up with advances in pornography, and I’ve read that most traffic on the Internet is pornographic, and I have no reason to doubt it. The Internet has fostered an explosion in porn specialties and subspecialties and preferences to include any act or configuration or point of view anybody wants or can think of, and that turns out to be quite a lot. I love evolution.