Ever wondered what Cat Stevens’ "Wild World" or Bob Dylan’s "Blowing in the Wind" would sound like covered by Green Day? Of course not. Why would you? Why not just break into the pipes that run from your toilet and pour your own filth into your ear? Me First and the Gimme Gimmes play that lame brand of sterile, California kiddie punk favored by middle-class white kids just learning to masturbate. On this recording of "I can play faster than you" pop covers, diverse songs all sound the same (see ESPN background music for Xtreme sports). At least they do Loretta Lynn’s "Stand by your Man"—noteworthy because it sounds here like a plea for homosexuality (which should confuse cookie-cut homophobes at the live shows). On the upside, these Shriner-dressers play heartfelt zit-rock at a competent level. You can catch them and other wankers trying to relive their rebellion days on the Vans Warped Tour, a Lollapalooza rip-off for jocks on July 1 at the Boreal Ski Resort near Tahoe, where you’ll be showered with youth product placement for skaters and snowboarders. Meanwhile, this CD is also good for scraping mildew off shower panels.