Local bastard

You’re welcome. If you haven’t already checked the little scene rant on page 32, consider this your introduction to Local Bastard. If you’re new to town or are just forgetful, this is his little space, and it’s where you come for all the gossip, critiques and tips on Chico’s music and arts scene, as well as more than a few discussions on various perverted distractions.

Hater hating. It’s very likely you’ll hear more than once about L.B.’s history of “hater” talk, and if so, just keep in mind that sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes the pen is mightier than the sword, and still other times a picture is worth a thousand words, as in L.B.’s drawing at right. You see, art is a tricky thing. When you create something visual, you gotta be prepared to get as much hate as you do love. And by far, the best kind of love to get is any form of imitation. L.B.’s art skills are no doubt apparent, but much props and love needs to be given to local Normal St. Bar/Synthesis artist Thorn Hart . (Any resemblance to superheroes or local heroes, living or dead, is miraculous and completely accidental.)

Give it up for the Goodburger! With a fresh, new school year upon us, L.B. is seriously peeing himself (don’t laugh: You, too will be an aging hipster someday) over the killer, brand-new logo that local artist and DJ Matt Loomis made for him at the top of this column. Damn, that is suave! If you’re new to town, Loomis is one of the handful of must-know locals. If there’s a more warm, talented and friendly dude in town, punch him the face, because Loomis is the winner. Check out his Those 2 Busters collaborations with local legend Aye Jay at www.ayejay.com/busters.htm.

I’m just raw. Why does everything bad happen to L.B.?! Mop and Pop are selling the Bastard home in Redding, and a day spent painting ceilings made this Li’l Bastard arrive an hour late for the Lyrics Born show at Chico State. No problem, surely crap-rockers I Hate Kate or Sublime knock-offs Slightly Stoopid would be tossed to the Rose Garden thorns first, and L.B. would still be able catch the Bay Area rapper. Problem. S.S. bass dude Kyle McDonald broke his arm, and Lyrics Born played first. L.B. caught one song. Sigh.

TO DO: This weekend, take a pre-packaged tour. The No. 1 ( The Rager ): Fri., 8/26, Progressive double-wells at Normal St. and Red With Envy at LaSalle’s . The No. 2 ( The Scenester ): Sat., 8/27, 3-10 p.m., Off the Lawn 2 arts/craft market with music by Arrangement Ghost , The Deer and Sac’s Dark Dark Mask at SUBUD Hall (574 E. 12th St.), followed by Bloody Marys or Pabst at Duffy’s . The No. 3 ( The Hopeless Indie Rocker ): Straight from the piNoise Pop Asian-American Music Festival in S.F., Chicago’s Jenny Choi’s new duo Sanawon stops at Off Limits , Sun., 8/28.

TWO MORE: Knowing his affinity for the fun, irreverent chick bastards that run Jane Magazine, CN&R Associate Editor Devanie Angel pointed L.B. to a story (www.foliomag.com) about the mag’s publishers moving Editor Jane Pratt (who also founded long-gone young women’s hipster mag Sassy) to “an office upstairs.” Announcing the departure to her mag’s staff, Pratt said, “I just hope that you can read between the lines.” Goodbye, Jane. And last, in the CN&R’s recent Goin’ Chico special issue (www.newsreview.com/issues/chico/2005-06-16/goinchicoI.asp issues/chico/2005-06-16/goinchicoI.asp), we screwed up the Banjo-ologist’s name! It’s Gordy Ohliger (not Oliver). See the local banjo expert and “Humorous Musical Historian” for yourself at www.banjoman.info.