Days of Lore

BEING A GOOD SPORT If someone were to ask me where The Sacramento Kings were in the standings, my response would probably be something like, “Near the bottom with the Golden State Warriors.” That’s about the extent of my NBA knowledge these days. And the NFL? During the playoffs, I couldn’t have even told you which teams were in (although I would have gone out on a limb to say the Oakland Raiders were not in the post season).

Well, ’tis time for me to emerge from my own personal off season from sports where I am again free to watch ESPN and scream at inanimate objects. Pitchers and catchers have already reported, Spring Training is underway and Opening Day is right around the corner. It seems like only yesterday that I was running down the street swinging my pants in the air after Albert Pujols kept my beloved St. Louis Cardinals alive with a mammoth 2,000-foot bomb in the playoffs against the Houston Astros.

Now I can look forward to another exciting, victory-laden season from the Redbirds, before watching them perform their annual crumble in the playoffs. I couldn’t be happier.

PETA PETS I was recently directed to PETA’s Web site GoVeg.com, not because I need to cut bloody red meat out of my diet, but for an interesting contest our animal-loving friends are holding. “Sultry soy boys” and “Tofutti cuties” were encouraged to submit photos for PETA’s “Sexiest Vegetarian” contest. The interesting part was that a local woman named Heather (pictured) is one of the 10 finalists. She works at a natural foods store here in town and was part of PETA’s successful campaign to stop J. Crew from selling fur. She’s quite stunning, too. See Heather’s bio, along with the other contestants at: goveg.com/f-sexyveg06finalists.asp. Who said vegetarians don’t enjoy a little flesh.

SCHLOCK ‘N’ ROLL HOOCHIE KOO Continuing my journey through masculinity (Let’s see, sports: Check. Women: Yup. Rock ’n’ roll: Here we go … ), I just discovered what may be the most beautiful concept for a tribute band. And all I could say was, “WTF took so long?” In the fine tradition of Dread Zeppelin and Gabba, The Kissfits, a tribute to, you guessed it, Kiss and The Misfits are trolling, well, only Southern California and the Bay Area and playing the classics.

Paul Stanzig, Ace Von Frehleystein, Gene Manashevitz and The Crimson Pussy have been together since 2001 and might just have the bitchenist logo ever. To check out a video sample go to: www.kissfits.com. Or if you want to take the lazy route, go to www.myspace.com/thekissfits, since you’re probably on there anyway chatting it up with that cute girl from Redding.

MUST SEE Looking for something to do? Ease out of your hectic work week and skip (I said skip!) on down to Café Flo this Friday (March 3 at 8 p.m.) for some mellow acoustic guitar with Becky Anker and Aubrey Debauchery, both of whom I have a huge crush on. Some of you may know Becky from her current band Harbinger Harbinger, not to mention her time in Royal Crown and Pan Pan. Beautiful voice. Talented songwriter.

And look for Aubrey to be a little unhinged after her no-cussing-no-sex-talk performance tonight (March 2) at Matthew’s Café with Bear Hunter, La Fin Du Monde and The Secret Stolen.