Days of Lore

IN THE YEAR 2006 I hope everyone had a great New Year’s. I accomplished more that night than Ozzy Osbourne did on the entire Bark at the Moon tour if you know what I mean. OK, maybe not, but it wasn’t pretty.

THE CHRONIC—WHAT!? Over the past few weeks I haven’t been able to escape being bombarded with lines from this Saturday Night Live skit that’s been floating around on the Internet called “Lazy Sunday.” I love the guy, but it was becoming painful to watch my friend Chris throwing hand gestures while he shouted, “Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals crazy delicious!” over and over … and over. It was obviously hysterical to him and it soon became apparent that I had to check it out myself.

For the three people out there who haven’t seen it, the skit features SNL newcomer Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell rapping about meeting up and smuggling snacks in to the theater for a matinee of The Chronicles of Narnia. OK, the shit’s funny—especially this little exchange:

Yo, where’s the movie playin’? Upper West Side, dude! Let’s hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route. I prefer Mapquest! That’s a good one too. Google Maps is the best! True that! Double true!

According to the New York Times, the skit has been downloaded more than 1.2 million times since it aired on the show … and I’m guessing about another million since the article came out.

There are already T-Shirts with phrases from the skit. That’s right kids, you too can sport your own shirt with phrases like “Baker’s Dozen” and “Snack-Attack Mutha Fucka!” I hate to be the bearer of bad news but the “Mr. Pibb+Red Vines=Crazy Delicious” shirts aren’t available anymore. I’m guessing there were some copyright issues there. Anyway, grab ’em while they’re hot at:

“Careful what you open.”

Also, check the clip out at:

WHAT UP, PARN! If you thought Chris Parnell talking about dropping Hamiltons at the theater was funny, check him out in Farm Sluts, a dark comedy short about Larry, whose life goes to hell after he receives an interesting e-mail at work. It features a cast of familiar faces and was written and directed by Collin Friesen. Yeah, I’ve never heard of him either, but this is some hilarious stuff:

SIX DEGREES OF CHRIS PARNELL It’s a funny thing, Chris Parnell also has a small part in the upcoming film, I’m Reed Fish, written by Reed Fish, who also happens to be an old friend of mine from Red Bluff. The film, which looks to be released this year, focuses on life in a small town and stars Alexis Bledel from Gilmore Girls.

NAUGHTY? KINKY? SPICY? I don’t understand it, but online dating services seem to be gaining popularity nowadays. Even the News & Review has stepped into the 21st Century with The Lounge, a service that allows our faithful readers to meet that special someone by way of emoticons. For example, you can set up your own profile and give a smile and a wink to the likes of “Heavenly Bad Girl” or “Womanchild.” There’s also the Spicy Lounge if you’re into, as one profile lists, “bondage, dildos, exhibitionism, handcuffs/shackles, high heels, masturbation, pictures or video, piercings, sex clubs, sex outdoors, shaving, spanking, tattoos, toys and vibrators.” Don’t be shy, now!

Ooh, I said dildos