Cheesespread

So long, meangirl
This week marks the departure of longtime Synthesis columnist Nicole Seredszun (a.k.a. meangirl of “me, me, me” fame), who is moving to Seattle, that beautiful city of silicon, Starbucks and rain. While I may not have agreed with her opinions all the time (I’m thinking of debasing fat people and worshiping groupies in particular), Nicole and Mike have been good friends over the years, and in person she is anything but a meangirl. Nicole says she will keep writing her column from up north for an indeterminate time, possibly reviewing live shows as well.

Here’s hoping the two of them have a lovely life ahead in the Pacific Northwest! And I’ll be needing some floor space next month when I come up there to see David Lee Roth kick it with Ween ("Hot for Teacher") at the annual Bumbershoot music fest. For those of you interested, here’s some of this year’s huge line-up:

Friday, Aug. 31: Mos Def, Jurassic Five, Dilated Peoples, Dave Alvin, New Orleans Klezmer All Stars, Damien Jurado

Saturday, Sept. 1: Loretta Lynn, Damon & Naomi, Stephen Malkmus, Ween, Cat Power, Low, Black Crowes, Built To Spill

Sunday, Sept. 2: David Lee Roth, Rufus Wainwright, Daniel Johnston, Richard Buckner, Rev Horton Heat, Mary Black, Karl Denson, Keller Williams

Monday, Sept. 3: Taj Mahal, G-Love, Tight Bros, Sam Bush, Galactic, Funky Meters, Guided By Voices, Dave Eggers, Vassar Clements, King Sunny Aide, Rollins Band

What do you know?
Close to 7,000 joyful Sacramento fans showed up to witness their savior, Chris Webber, as he signed—for lack of other viable options—a seven-year contract worth 120-something million (who counts after a certain point?) to stay put in Sac-town eating white-people food and making ugly drives to the basket. Undoubtedly, this is a good thing for the team and the entire city—a friend of mine who used to live there describes it as “having all the bad parts of a city and none of the good” (I suppose he was referring to a weak arts and culture scene and a downtown full of bureaucrats and bad air). But now, Sacramentans can rest assured their NBA treasure should be an elite team (can anyone say Utah?) for years. But will NBC execs care now that the tat-covered White Chocolate is no longer exploding nacho-cheese plates in the front row with his errant passes? Madhandles has left the building.

Weekly props
1. Congratulations Devanie and Tom
2. “Yar, she blows!” The Simpsons
3. Jack Black and Steve Zahn in Saving Silverman
4. Woody Allen in Oakland
5. Eudora Welty R.I.P.