It’s not about impulse control
The news of late has come laden with tales of rich and famous men who “lack impulse control,” guys like Donald Trump, the current Pussy-Grabber-in-Chief; Harvey Weinstein, Hollywood babe magnet; and TV news journalist Mark Halperin, accused by several women of being entirely too free with his hands.
As appalling as such behavior is, I am a little perplexed by how it is being described. A lack of impulse control? Really?
I was never very good at impulse control, but I never had the impulse to grope or fondle a woman I was not romantically involved with no matter how alluring she might have been, or how love-starved I may have been. Had I had such an impulse, I can’t say for sure I would have resisted acting on it, so I feel grateful for never having had to battle such misdirected and inappropriate impulses.
I used to be unable to resist the impulse to drink to excess on most weekends. I am currently a Type-2 diabetic, and yet when I see a cookie that triggers the impulse to eat it, chances are I’m going to succumb to that impulse.
Until recently, I had at least an average libido, and when it came to appreciating female pulchritude, I probably scored somewhere above average. But it never occurred to me to grab or grope strangers, nor did the idea that flashing my privates at them would enhance my appeal.
Which leaves me struggling to understand guys like Weinstein or Halperin for giving expression, repeatedly, to such crude and criminal behavior. Did these guys think such boorish bullying would enhance their allure? Did they think that groping women whose names they may not even have known was a seduction technique that stood even a remote chance of success? Did they think exposing themselves was going to be an instant turn-on to the targets of their ardor?
Mom never taught me not to fondle strangers. It wasn’t necessary. Nor should it have been.