Best of the rest

Best of Chico is a 22-year-old tradition at CN&R. Annually, we set aside an issue for readers to share their favorite people, places and things.

Or, as in the case of this year’s voting, random thoughts.

The free-form nature of the ballot—blanks for your responses, rather than a drop-down menu of nominees—led to some amusing and head-shaking moments during the tally process. Take the bookstore category: One vote was “Do porn stores count?”

I thought I’d share some of the other, shall we say, unique entries you won’t find in the top three …

Nursery: “At the hospital. There’s plenty of nurses there.”

Place to buy a vehicle: “From the original owner.”

Auto supply store: “Yeah, right, ’cause I can fix it myself?!?”

Place to buy music supplies: “Why buy them? I just steal what I need.”

Place to buy flowers: “Rose Garden (make payment to Paul Zingg).”

Sporting goods store: “My storage unit.”

Bike shop: “Wherever Lance Armstrong goes.”

Men’s clothing store: “Hey, when did Navarro’s close?”

Women’s clothing store: “Why do women even need to wear clothing?”

Place to buy outdoor gear: “Ask the bums.”

Hotel/motel/inn: “Wal-Mart parking lot.”

Bank: “I used to like my bank, BofA, until they ‘improved’ it by remodeling inside but I don’t like it now.”

Overall restaurant: “I don’t eat overalls, but Sierra Nevada probably.”

Chain restaurant: “None of them, because I’m off the chain.”

Fine dining: “Requires a spoon.”

Italian food: “There is no good Italian food in Chico—admit it.”

Vegetarian restaurant: “I don’t eat vegetarians. They taste like hippies.”

Diner: “No thanks, I just had breakfast.”

Place to dance: “Weddings.”

Art gallery: “All of them! We need more!”

Place to get a beer: “My refrigerator, hopefully not before noon.”

Place to get a margarita: “Mexico … where else?”

Place to work out: “My bed (I wonder how many people said this).” No one else, actually.

Place to play basketball: “Not on my 57-year-old, too-much-concrete knees!”

Place to swim: “I got knocked down and my head was swimmin’/I wound up with the Dean of Women—Bob Dylan”

Public servant: “All the people who control traffic for Thursday Market.”

Charitable cause: “Good question. I’m sure there are many. I don’t know any of them. Why am I filling this out? What a waste of time (mostly yours, if you actually read this) … It is fun, though. Too much coffee.”

Community event: “Rush-hour traffic. Definitely the traffic.”

Thing about Chico: “It still exists.”