This ‘n’ that
In a recent issue of GQ, actor/director Clint Eastwood had this to say on the subject of gay marriage: “These people who are making a big deal about gay marriage? I don’t give a fuck about who wants to get married to anybody else!”
I’ve been searching for someone who could sum up my own feelings on this issue succinctly, clearly and fully. I do believe I’ve found my man.
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I’ve figured out when popular music began to suck. It was sometime in the ’90s, when singers began to have more dancers than musicians in his/her band. At this point, the choreographer became more important than the bassist. At this point, popular music began to look like Broadway musicals. At this point, I checked out.
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Every once in a while, I’m forced to mention this because so many people are just not paying attention to all the slop that’s bursting forth from their pie holes. When you really don’t care about something, and you want to express this, it’s frightfully inaccurate to say, “I could care less.” What you mean to say is, “I could not care less.” Think about it. Then pull your head out. You’re welcome.
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I’ve got the perfect romantic ending to a modern movie for us sentimental baby boomers. Joe and Jane, both old, happy, long-married but ailing, decide to fade out with some style. So, while looking soulfully and lovingly into one another’s eyes, they pull each other’s plugs. I’m not sure if this is dramatic gold or comedic gold, but I’m positive it’s some kind of gold.
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OK, we’ve had better Septembers in terms of our big tourist events. Thank God the Balloonists kept their shit together and didn’t get into a pre-dawn knife fight or something.
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These commercials about how you can “man up” by switching to a certain “lite” beer—yeah, right. Manning up with light beer is a lot like slimming down with smaller doughnuts. Light beer is acceptable in two—and only two—situations. (1) When it’s 3 in the afternoon on a 104-degree day. Must be ice cold. (2) For the filling of the bong. Must be ice cold.
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You hear many people lament for the good old days when you could actually find a moderate, intelligent and cooperative Republican in Washington. Well, I finally found one—President Obama.
Actually, it appears Barack will be quite busy for the next year making that wiseacre remark look like the cheap shot it is. I hope so. But it had been laying around on my desk for a couple months, and I needed to use it before it became totally moot. So there ya go.
