The rest of the report

It happens once in a while. I’ll read my column when it comes out in the physical paper and immediately realize I blew it. Blew it in the sense that I left something important out. This instance, I’m referring to last week’s piece about the outrageous prison sentence given to Elko county teacher Tennille Whitaker. Because as soon as I read it, two words leaped into my mind’s eye, two words that had they been included would have more completely made my whole point. Those two words being “Jeffrey Epstein.” If you know the story of this Floridian sex creep, you know exactly what I mean.

Of course it sucked that Mueller didn’t bust Trump and his asshole children. Enormously! If Vegas had established an over/under line for a total of Mueller indictments of Prez Capone, with the number set at 10, I would have taken the over. All day long! Slam dunk, dude. So, yes, I’m lucky no such action was available. Saved me some kaish!

Mueller quote. “…while this report does not conclude that the president committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.” Clear, plain and to the point. Right? So how does Dum Dum respond? Predictably, he lies his lying ass off. And tweets about total exoneration. He can’t stop himself. He can’t help it. The jerk of jerks.

Obviously, there’s one thing that must be done. The Mueller Report needs to be released to Congress. And to us. Period. It’s the only way to settle this dust up. It’s the easiest way to settle it. It’s the fairest way. Turn the table, Trumplodytes. If President Hillary had received this dumbed down Cliff Note from her attorney general Chuck Schumer, and had instantly and loudly proclaimed her complete exoneration, you Repubs know you would have screamed bloody murder until you got the full report. There’s no way you’re gonna trust Schumer’s condensed interpretation, right? So how do you expect us Dems to trust this slop from Barr, who applied for the AG gig last summer by writing some fawning memo to Trump about how a president can’t be popped for obstruction because he’s such a stable genius or some such shit. Trump scarfed it up, and gee, lo and behold, nine months later, look who’s the AG of the USA? Gosh, how totally convenient!

It’s total fuckin bullshit. In the meantime, we’ll amuse ourselves with Tales of Individual One. And Deutschebank. And the Moscow Trump Tower. And emoluments. And the ridiculous Trump Foundation. And the sexual lawsuits. And the neverending torrent of lies, lies, lies.