We did it

One thing that’s very tricky about a weekly column here in the Twitler Zone is simply writing something that will still retain some kind of current relevance a few days later. I write the column on Monday, the paper comes out on Thursday, and I just can’t help but notice that very often, what seems like hot and lively stuff at the first of the week will be a big bowl of cold oatmeal by the end, because of all the crazy outrageous shit that goes down on Tuesday and Wednesday! It certainly keeps a columnist on his proverbial toes. That said …

How outrageously ironic it truly is that the heroes who made last week’s bellyflop of the American Health Care Act possible were, of all people, the House Freedom Caucus. A bigger bunch of nasty, twisted, infuriating dipshits you would truly be hard-pressed to find, but god bless ’em, I guess the AHCA just wasn’t cruel enough for these insane jerks, which led to the delightful conclusion of the HFC telling Trump and Eddie Munster Ryan to piss off. We live in truly bizarre times, where I—who resides on the political spectrum just a shade to the left of Wavy Gravy—found myself siding with the always detestable HFC, and man, that was just flat-out weird!

A truly crummy bill, the AHCA was hated by just about everybody (only 17 percent support). It was also Paul Ryan’s shit sandwich, and he really shouldn’t have been all that surprised that folks didn’t line up to take a bite. One tweeter I saw pretty much nailed it when he posted a pic of Ryan, midwestern baby blues flashing, with a spot-on caption provided by none other than Pete Townshend—“No one knows what it’s like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes. No one knows what it’s like to be hated, to be fated, to telling only lies.”

Commonly expected back in January and February to fly through a Republican Congress, something got in the way of this execrable dreck. And that something was us, as in We the People, who took every chance we had to tell Repub congressmembers that this bill sucked bad bongwater through a straw, and we weren’t happy about it. If we hadn’t stood up and shrieked like banshees about this ridiculous tax break for the one percent that was dishonestly disguised as a pitiful excuse for health care, it would still be alive. But we did, and the AHCA is now floating in the sewers of D.C., heading to Chesapeake Bay. Good riddance. And good for us.