Chill out, be strong: 5 ways weed can help you overthrow the orange patriarchy

For those of us with progressive ideals and radical leanings, life under President-elect Donald Trump is going to be a demonic, frothy and endless stream of stress-inducing policies, tweets and (dis)appointments.

It will also be a time of protests, organizing and general grassroots badassery. Fortunately, in 2016, the smart citizens of the great state of California saw fit to legalize cannabis—proving once again that the universe has a weird sense of humor.

In other words, we’re probably going to need all the weed California can grow in order to be able to stare fascism in the eye and say, “This oppression will not stand, man.”

With that in mind, here are five ways to use cannabis to keep your spirit strong and your mind calm:

1. The usual methods: Smoke a joint, toke a bowl, do a dab, have a cookie. Whatever your usual method of consumption is, have at it. I recommend an indica-dominant hybrid like Lavender, or even a heavier pure indica like Romulan or Bubblegum. Sit on your couch. Breathe. Relax.

2. Take a bath: A good, long soak in a hot tub does wonders for the body and spirit. Sit-ins and protest marches can wreak havoc on the feet and the posterior. Carrying protest signs is hard on the triceps. Get a cannabis-infused bath bomb or some bath salts, put on some Mariah Carey or maybe some Zap Mama, and let all your worries float away. Soak it in. Smoke another joint. Plan the resistance. Whoopi makes great bath salts (http://whoopiandmaya.com), and Canna Care also makes a good one. You could even make your own if you're crafty like that. Check out tips via www.cannabischeri.com/lifestyle/
diy/how-to-make-marijuana-bath-salts.

3. Overgrow the government: Now that it is legal for you to grow your own cannabis, you probably should. If your landlord is cool with it, learning how to care for a few cannabis plants is a good way to practice survival growing skills, and everyone knows that talking to plants is a great way to relieve stress. The really subversive might consider throwing a few pot seeds in a vacant lot or at their local river bank. You know, just to see what happens.

4. Get a massage: Cannabis-infused oils to the rescue! Healing touches are just the thing to help you decompress. Some local medical marijuana dispensaries such as A Therapeutic Alternative (3015 H Street) offer free massage sessions to their patients. Or you could trade massages with a friend.

5. Smoke with friends: Friends are awesome! Invite your friends over to smoke a doobie and make a cannabis-infused meal. Cooking with cannabis is easy. Making cannabis-infused butters and oils is a simple task, and a good meal with good friends is a time-honored way to relieve stress, increase joy and plot subversive actions aimed at overthrowing the patriarchy. Ω