Would you sign this, please?
One thing this election cycle has taught us is that citizens who do the work reap the rewards. Take Questions 2 and 9, for example. Neither will change any lives, but some people thought the law had to be altered. The first question is already enforced in fact (marriage is already defined by law as a contract between a man and a woman), the other is practically an unwritten law (police usually only cite marijuana users in conjunction with something else, like sleeping in the park or loitering in front of gumball machines).
So this December, after the polls have closed and the legislative influence peddling has begun, it’s time to get to work making your own laws. We here in the editorial department at the News & Reviews wracked our brains for some positive ideas for changes that don’t discriminate against anyone.
Initiative for the protection of love: Why give homophobes control of families? This citizen initiative would legalize civil unions between a man and a man or a woman and a woman or a man and a woman. It would give full legal rights as partners to couples who choose to sign a contract for the purposes of raising a family, making medical decisions and receiving or bestowing insurance. It would, in the event of irreconcilable differences, also allow for the dissolution of the partnership. This would be called divorce, and would bestow full rights to call the former partner, “the ex.”
Initiative for the protection of paint jobs: How many thousands of dollars every year are lost to insurance companies when a motorist knocks a bicyclist off the street? This initiative would take $1 from the sales of road users (cars, bicycles, motorcycles, semis, trailers, pickups) and apply it to building and maintaining bike lanes on arterial commuter roads in Washoe County, like Prater Way, East Fourth Street and Virginia Street. Hey, if marijuana users can each have enough pot to put the entire Junior League in unemployment lines, why can’t bike riders have enough road to get to work alive?
Initiative for the protection of the status quo: This law would make it illegal to scurrilously, intentionally and maliciously mess with the way things are. A favorite of conservatives, it would prohibit the advancement of laws that would allow change. Gamers would never have an increase in gross gaming tax, legislators would twiddle their thumbs in session, declarations of candidacy would remain a license to steal, Johnny would still be reading nothing more challenging than Dr. Seuss at high school graduation. On the other hand, boards, commissions, ad-hoc committees and task forces for the study of anything would be wholeheartedly encouraged. This law would also make citizen initiatives a thing of the past, in order to protect thousands of people from the notion that their vote is important in matters of public policy.