Who's been naughty?

They may be the ones who deserve these movie gifts

It’s holiday time, and you want to look cool when you pick a movie for somebody as a gift. That’s why this list is here, because I’m cool (or so says my dog), and I can be a reliable guide at this time of year. And when I say guide, I mean shopping guru. I’m no Sherpa. Don’t take me on any mountain hikes because I will get you lost, and I will cry if a bear eats you.

So here we go, my list of some of the better home viewing options for 2014. If you give one of these, and the person who gets it has actually read this article, then they will know you cheated and aren’t at all original in your gift giving. That’s OK—we all have our shortcomings.

Prices listed are from Amazon.com at time of writing.

Blockbuster Goodness

Guardians of the Galaxy (Blu-ray) $19.99 One of the year’s better blockbusters is on Blu-ray just in time for stocking stuffing. Giving this one also provides a nice excuse for you to make somebody a mix tape.

Godzilla (Blu-ray) $22.99 At the beginning of the year, I said this was my most anticipated film, and if it were a bad movie, I would spiral into severe depression. As things turned out, I enjoyed it immensely, and I now have a distinct spring in my step. The Blu-ray is cool, with some fun mock documentary stuff about Godzilla and behind-the-scenes stuff.

Edge of Tomorrow (Blu-Ray) $23.99 This was a blockbuster wannabe that fell a little flat at the box office. While not a huge bomb, the latest Tom Cruise flick, wherein he gets caught in a death loop and must die thousands of times, didn’t do that well. A lot of people haven’t seen it, and it is amazing. Give this one to that science fiction-loving person who couldn’t see fit to plunk down the dough at the IMAX Theater. They will love it, for sure.

For Those Who Eschew Cable And Miss Cool Stuff On TV

Twin Peaks: The Entire Mystery (Blu-ray) $84.96 Far and away, the best Blu-ray of the year. If somebody you know loves Peaks, get them this and only this. When they open it, just throw your hands up like you scored a touchdown and then start dancing like the red dwarf.

One of the greatest TV shows ever made gets a spectacular treatment, full of archive features. Then, you also get Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me and those long rumored deleted scenes. Yes, the movie would’ve been a little more fun had director David Lynch kept some of these in.

The show is coming back for season three in 2016, so this works as a nice primer for more things to come.

Family Ties: The Complete Series (DVD) $55.29 Alas, this classic series will probably never have a date with Blu-ray, meaning you will never see Justine Bateman’s Mallory Keaton in HD glory.

Batman: The Complete Series (Blu-ray) $174.99 Adam West and Burt Ward finally get their due on Blu-ray. I would suggest boycotting this because the two fools skipped out on Reno Comic Con this year, but that would be unprofessional. If you feel like springing for another $400 bucks, get them the cool collectible dolls available over at sideshowtoys.com. There are some people on your list worth $700 bucks, right?

Fargo: The Complete First Season (Blu-ray): $29.96 I had my doubts about this one, but the Billy Bob Thornton-starring TV show offshoot of the Coen brothers movie proved to be a worthwhile endeavor. It comes with audio commentaries, deleted scenes and making-of docs.

Cult Greatness

UHF (Blu-ray) $14.59 Shout Factory has grown into one of the cooler purveyors of cult cinema home viewing. Weird Al Yankovic’s one and only foray into headlining a movie was great satire in its day, and it’s still funny. Michael Richards kicked ass as Stanley the Janitor, and the “We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers!” moment still kills me.

Eraserhead (Blu-ray) $30.91 What can bring on the holiday cheer quicker than an embalmed cow fetus crying for its mommy? I say, nothing whatsoever! Give this one along with the later mentioned Twin Peaks box set to give that special someone a joyous David Lynch geekgasm. It’s Criterion, so that means it costs a little more than the average Blu-ray, but it’s totally worth it.

Snowpiercer (Blu-ray) $9.99 This came out this year, and it’s an instant cult classic. Yes, it’s an apocalypse film, but there’s lots of snow in it, so that makes it qualify as somewhat of a holiday movie. Hey, even though this one is about the survival of the planet and contains some gross stuff, it’s no scarier than that freaking creepy The Polar Express animated movie.

Monty Python Live: One Down, Five to Go (Blu-ray) $18.74 The alleged last Python show ever was a little sloppy, but everybody left alive in the troupe is something like 139 years old now, so we’ll cut them some slack. The five remaining Pythons did a final stretch of live performances in London, with big musical numbers and a surprisingly nimble Terry Gilliam jumping 10 feet off the ground during the Spanish Inquisition sketch.

Frank (Blu-ray) $12.99 Here’s another movie from this year that next to nobody saw, but garners that instant cult classic badge. Michael Fassbender wears a big mask on his head the whole time, and the results are one of the year’s funniest movies. Give this to the music lover who idolizes Syd Barrett.

Give The Gift Of Garbage To Someone You Despise

Blended (Blu-ray) $22.99 Remember when we used to gather around the TV in the living room around holiday time, ready for a good laugh? We’d have the fireplace going, and we’d pop in the latest Adam Sandler flick for chuckle time. We’d roast candy canes, and smoke marshmallows, safe in the knowledge that Sandler would provide a couple of good gutbusters.

Those days are so gone. Long gone. This movie is a crime against movies, people, dogs and various insects. Give it to somebody you can’t stand, and then run out of the house as soon as they unwrap it. Trust me, you don’t want to be there when this Blu-ray goes live.

The Box Set I Want The Most

Halloween: The Complete Collection (Blu-ray) $100.96 Hey, I’m not shy. This is probably my only chance to let folks know what I really want under the Christmas tree over at their place because I don’t have one. This puppy comes with all of the Halloween movies, even the ones Rob Zombie did, and a big load of extras. OK, so now you know. Would somebody buy this for me, please?