Where’s the apocalypse?

For all their screaming about the politics of division, no Democrat has yet explained their pre-election insistence that young people will be drafted, that blacks are being systematically denied the right to vote, and the disabled would never walk again if Bush were re-elected.

Of course, the Democratic Party has entered its post-election, navel-gazing stage of analysis. The conundrum is not that the liberals lost, but that they can’t fathom how they lost. Witness the Nov. 3 headline from London’s Mirror, which probably sums up the collective worldwide liberal opinion of the election results, to-wit: “How can 59,054,087 people be so DUMB?”

Of course, one may ask if liberals really want to place any emphasis on ignorance as a defining difference between the parties. By all means, let’s break out the No. 2 pencils and pit the farmers, the home-schooled and the Sunday-school teachers against the voters who showed up at the polls with hopes of meeting P-Diddy or Michael Moore.

Susan Sarandon piously made an appearance on HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher and said, “I don’t think people are that stupid. I think there was a lot of voter fraud.”

Enter Eric and Traci Amberson.

For the forgetful, the Ambersons are the pair of Sparks Democrats who apparently had more pressing issues to attend to than actually learning how to register to vote.

Like so many this election season, they completed voter registration forms provided by a canvasser rather than actually taking the time to register themselves at a government office where there would be no doubt as to what happened to their ballot once they signed it and handed it over.

The Ambersons’ receipts showed their forms were among those assigned to the Republican-backed canvasser Sproul & Associates. The dynamic duo went to court and claimed the company had destroyed their Democratic registration forms. A state investigation found no evidence of an organized effort to throw out Democratic registrations.

Not to be denied their rights, no matter how complicitous they were in losing them, the Ambersons sued. In a subsequent hearing on Election Day, District Court Judge Brent Adams ordered the county registrar to allow the Ambersons and anyone else with a voter registration receipt to cast a ballot.

Responsibility and accountability were again set aside in favor of the continued victimization of “disenfranchised voters"—proof positive of the continued dumbing down of America. The Ambersons took no responsibility to ensure their right to vote—unless you count 68 seconds in front a local Wal-Mart store—then they piously decried the results.

Local liberal columnist Andrew Barbano (www.nevadalabor.com) showcased the missing registrations as indicative that the evil Republicans were out to suppress the vote in Nevada—despite lack of proof or even evidence.

The assumption that Republicans would actually suppress the vote suffers from one fatal flaw: The assumption that if the people who don’t normally vote actually did vote, they’d vote Democrat. Another example of liberal stupefaction and outright arrogance. Democrats apparently believe if they simply register enough people they will eventually win. How else would you explain Democrats trading voter registrations for crack cocaine in Colorado and registering Mary Poppins and Dick Tracy in Ohio, as reported by Rush Limbaugh?

Such assumptions also ignore the fact that President Bush won 44 percent of Hispanics (up from 35 percent in 2000), 11 percent of African-Americans (up from 9 percent in 2000), 25 percent of Jewish voters (up from 19 percent in 2000), and 48 percent of women (up from 43 percent in 2000).

After wasting buckets of duckets on a couple of voters who didn’t bother to ensure their own votes, justice prevailed for the Ambersons, and they got to vote. I can hear the down-trodden multitudes cheering, "Vive la judiciary!"