Viva la difference II

“I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.”
—P. J. O’Rourke

Recently, I was* encouraged to devote space to a more thorough examination of the ideological differences between your Host and the conservatively challenged in the peanut gallery.

Last week, I referenced taxes, abortion and gun control. I conclude this week with pre-emptive wars on terror-sponsoring countries, gay marriage and allowing illegal aliens and felons the right to vote.

Iraq war. Technically, the term is incorrect. The “war” was over before it began. Iraq was conquered in less time than it took for Bill Clinton to admit that he didn’t have sex with Monica Lewinsky. Using that same rationale, Iraq is not a “war” but an “occupation.” Although, apparently removing murderous dictators and installing democracy is not as noble a cause to the anti-war crowd as supporting murderous dictators. While they incessantly whine about Iraq requiring a “political solution” and not a military one, I have yet to see any examples of politicians actually blowing themselves up. As if that weren’t bad enough, these same neuron-challenged intellectuals fail to recognize that Fidel Castro has been dealt with “politically” for 47 years, and look how well that strategy has worked for all those oppressed Cubans.

And still—if I understand the anti-war crowd—their biggest complaint is not the death of U.S. soldiers but rather the hordes of innocent, Iraqi civilian casualties being inflicted by said military. (Although, I was under the impression it was terrorists causing all those IED explosions.) In any event, the peace crowd was conspicuously MIA when the late S. Hussein, Dictator, was busy executing Iraqi civilians. Many reports estimate roughly 2 million people were murdered under his watch. Which leaves one wondering about all the faux indignation? (Or might that be hypocrisy?)

Gay marriage. First, if you march in pride parades dressed like a carnival sideshow do not expect to be taken seriously. Second, your struggle is not remotely similar to the civil rights movement or women’s suffrage, and in fact, isn’t a struggle at all. You have exactly the same rights everyone else has. If that is insufficient, get over it.

Perhaps someone can make a cogent argument why the concept of same gender-unions shouldn’t be expanded to include three or more people? Either way, don’t expect the whole of western civilization to change just to accommodate you.

Illegal aliens, felons, and the right to vote, oh my. In a nutshell, I’d like the party of the treasonous to explain their incessant need to import their constituency and restore voting rights to people who obviously have no regard for anyone else’s rights.

In truth, however, the only immigrants who should ever get a shot at a free pass are those who escaped places like Cuba. Everyone else who couldn’t be bothered to follow the rules, and who comes from a free and democratic country—like, say, Mexico—should get a one-way trip home.

One rather curious observation: The city of Miami has—if you’ll pardon the expression—a boatload of Cuban immigrants who surprisingly enough vote Republican. Those good people apparently have had enough of a “benevolent government” intervening for the common good of the populace.

That perhaps brings us back to O’Rourke, who wisely concluded that the only difference between the two aforementioned parties is that there is no Santa Claus. Would that I could say the same thing about liberals. Or at the very least, Democrats.