Van Helsing

The summer movie season gets off to a sloppy start with this strange ode to some of Universal Studios’ classic monsters (Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, Wolfman). Hugh Jackman stars as the vampire hunter Gabriel Van Helsing, hired by the Vatican to vanquish monsters and wear a funny hat. Kate Beckinsale stars in her second bad monster movie in a year (after Underworld) and finds herself, yet again, in shockingly tight Goth garb. There’s just too much going on here for the eyes to handle, and much of it looks too glossy and fake to be scary. Had director Stephen Sommers (the recent Mummy movies) cooled off a bit, this could’ve worked better because Jackman is fun in the central role. By the time the umpteenth baby vampire ate somebody, I was numb. (CPL, CR, CS, ER, NM)