TV worth missing

Notes from Election Night 2002:

One observation to make right off: It’s been a crummy night for trench-hating, pot-smoking, engaged lesbians.

Voters accomplished one mission: The Sferrazza clan has not become the Kennedys of Washoe County. It appears that the folks in Reno ultimately considered the possibility of dual Sferrazzas on the City Council and said, “Nope. Can’t do it.”

Then again, what a sitcom! “He’s a county commissioner, she’s a city councilwoman—and so is his daughter/her stepdaughter! Get ready for the livin', the lovin’ and the zany arguments about budgets, growth rates and kitty litter factories, all coming up during the debut season of The Sferrazza Situation!”

Cut to episode one, “Civil Civics,” where we hear Julie say “Peter, dear, you better take out the trash and fix that leaky faucet tonight or else I might just have to reconsider my no vote on that proposal to annex Spanish Springs, Fernley and Pyramid Lake.” Cut to episode two, “Are You Talking To Me?” where we hear Pete say, “Honey, if you don’t dress up in that nice little concubine outfit after dinner tonight, you can kiss that detestable sales tax that’s building that goddamn trench goodbye!” Cut to episode three, “Mixed Messages,” where Jessica looks up from her tuna casserole and wails, “Could we please talk about something else besides the credit ratings on the bonds that are gonna pay for that stupid new sewage treatment plant? I mean, doesn’t anybody around here go to the movies, fer crissake?”


It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why Question 9 got pasted. It was simply too much too fast for the voters of this state, many of whom got their drug education from the song “Okie from Muskogee.”

A marijuana initiative that goes for a humbler target—possession of one ounce max, plus a reasonable and workable system of state-controlled distribution for genuine medical marijuana patients—would probably have a better chance to really scare the crap out of the Drug Czar and Dick Gammick. And those who wouldn’t be in the medical marijuana system, but still wanted a bit of the green in their rastafarian ha-ha box after a grueling day in the ole cube farm? No Dutch pot shops and frightful taxation schemes are necessary. Take the state out of the mix altogether and just let citizens grow one plant at any given time.


Finally, one political reality is getting more and more difficult to overlook. The American electoral system has been warped and mutated into this Jabba the Hut-type slobbering monster that rewards one thing and one thing only: money.

I submit the following factoid: To keep his job as governor of California, Gray Davis spent $65 million. $65 million. And the really perverted thing is that it was money well spent. He won by only a few percentage points.

It should also be remembered that this blatant commerce isn’t their fault. Not at all.